Chapter 4: Please Take back your compliments
“Don’t ever compliment me by insulting other women. That’s not a compliment, it’s a competition none of us agreed to.”
The responds / comments/ internet coverage that has emerged from the pageant has been overwhelming. Did you know there are independent fan pages that covers Malaysian pageants? You can check the two most popular ones here (Missology Malaysia) and here (Miss Malaysia Pageant). From my observations, people are way more mean (or as they would like to say, 'honest') in these fan pages than they are in the official pageant Facebook pages. I would think it is because the fan pages give the public more room to 'express themselves' (even if that means being a total as*) while the official pages have a no nonsense approach towards negative connotations. Now, I would address rude/ untasteful /mean comment in general some other time. Today, I want to address a certain group of comments that I see surfacing often. These comments start up in good taste, either encouraging a certain girl, or showing support for her like "I really like ***" or "I think *** is beautiful" and I have no problem with that. What I have a problem with is how these comments end. What started as positive comment turns into a negative when the commentator starts to bring down the other girls in comparison. " ** ** is the best out of all the girls" or " My only support is for ****, the rest can go home" or "*** is the only person that is able to represent Malaysia gracefully!" Now I get it, you have a certain girl that you have undying support for and you would do just about anything to show the world that you would catch a grenade for her, but complementing her by insulting another woman is not a compliment. What you're doing is stirring up unwanted competition between the girls. Us girls have enough insecurities and things to worry about on our own. As much as you have good intentions to support your favorite girls, I'm absolutely sure that there is a better way of expressing your support. I realize that a big group of commentators are like headless chickens. They run around dropping comments without giving them a second thought and do not realize the reciprocal effects of such comments. As much as the internet is a place for you to express yourself, you also have the responsibility of doing so with class. Us girls have feelings too and we really do read all the comments. You are free to support whoever you please, just don't bring the rest of us down along the way. I want to direct this post to two groups of people. The first is the wonderful women that is in Miss World Malaysia with me and other fellow pageant queens in their various pageants. Girls, we are fearfully and wonderfully made. Each of us brings something unique to the table. Our race in the pageant should not be against each other, but rather towards our self improvement. I urge you girls not to encourage or remain a spectator to such comments. Educate your fans . As much as you know your self worth, I ask you to value the worth of your fellow pageant sisters as well. Don't click "like" whenever a commentator 'compliments' you by bringing another girl down, instead, reply him with a nice comment along the lines of "Thank you for you support, but I cannot take your compliment if it insults my fellow pageant sisters". I too have been guilty of liking comments that I felt luke warm about, just because I felt obligated to do so for the ounce of support a stranger was showing me, but looking back, I missed out of an opportunity to stand up to what I truly believe in, which was woman empowerment. The second group of people I am directing this post to is you. Yes you, the public. You consist of family, friends, supporters and random people passing by. I urge you to give some thoughts into your comments. Think about the girls on the other end of your comments. If all else fails, remember a good piece of advice my mom told me when I was younger, if you have nothing nice to say, don't say anything. Labels: kl, malaysia, me, pageant diaries 0 lovely comments ✿ |